Does failing make you a failure?

You will fail

Not all the time but on many occasions, you will fail.

I know there have been numerous times when I have entered the familiar dark arena of failure and been overcome with guilt, disgust, frustration, shame, sadness, guilt, despair, envy, jealousy, doubt and a multitude of other negative emotions.

Does Failing make you a Failure?There have been times I thought “I can’t do this any more”.

There have been times when I just wanted to lie down and give up on my dreams.

There have been times I have questioned whether my goals were even achievable.

There have been times when I have questioned my self worth – did I even deserve the goal I was aiming for?

There have been times when I believed everyone around me was waiting for me to fail and then laughing at me

I know I am not alone

Having a goal and not achieving it can be beyond frustrating.  It brings a swarm of emotions, none of them pleasant.  The hardest emotion is doubt.  I doubt myself, I doubt my goal, I doubt my abilities, I doubt my self worth.  Self doubt is difficult.  No one seems able to reassure you or you question their real intentions.

However, most of the esteemed leaders will tell you that failure is part of the journey to your goal.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. tweet

~ Winston Churchill tweet

So I continue to get back up.

I continue to tell myself that failing doesn’t make me a failure.

I look at what I was doing rather than questioning why I was aiming for the goal.

I look if there is a different way to approach the goal, is there a method I haven’t tried?

Failing does not make you a failure

Failures are part of life.  If you don’t fail, you don’t learn.  How often have you heard people say “learn by your mistakes”?  Such a common phrase and such common sense.

I have even heard FAIL described as First Attempt in Learning and it’s true.   Think of your children taking their first steps.  How often did they fall down during their First Attempt In Learning?  Did you call them a failure?  Did they give up or think of themselves as a failure?   No, they tried a different tactic, holding on to the sofa rather than the dining chair, trying to get across a “two step” gap rather than across the length of the room.

When I was in primary school, I remember a poster one of the teachers had put up.  It was a photo of birds and it said “they fly because they think they can”.   Our children become mobile because they believe they can.  They haven’t come across the negativity of self doubt yet.  No one has ever told them that they can’t do it.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
~ Henry Ford tweet

If we start to think we cannot do something, or believe we are not worthy of achieving a goal, we won’t get there.  The goals will just stay as an elusive dream, something we will look back at in years to come and think “if only”.

We need to accept that failing is one step of the journey, a step that may appear numerous times and increase with size.  But it’s just a step.  We need to get ourselves back up.  We need to believe that we will get there, maybe not as quickly as we wanted to but believe whole heartedly that we will get there.

The real failure is when you stop trying

How do you deal with failing?  What tips do you have for others?  How do you motivate yourself to get back up?  

 

 

 

 

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