Super Woman is a fictional character
How often have you gone to bed and thought “oh I didn’t manage to get X, Y and Z done”?
How often have you made yourself feel bad about the things that you have not managed to achieve?
Would we put down others who had not managed to complete their “to do” list? If a friend rang you at bedtime and said “I’m sorry I didn’t manage to do everything on my list today but life got in the way”, what would your response be? Would you criticise them, make them feel bad and then share with others just how useless they are?
No (or at least I hope “no”)
You would understand that this friend has children/family commitments, sometimes considerable commitments. You would tell them to stop being so hard on themselves, you would tell them that there is only so much one person can do in a day and then you would possibly share with others that they needed to chip in if possible to help your friend out.
So, why do we do things differently for ourselves? Why do we have higher expectations of ourselves than we have for others?
I’m going to let you into a secret – “Superwoman doesn’t exist“. Super Woman is a fictional character – created by a man (of course) and she does not have children. I would also say she most definitely does not have children with Special Educational Needs or Disabilities.
So let’s stop trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. Let’s stop worrying about what others may think of us if we fail to achieve everything – chances are they will totally understand. Let’s stop thinking we have failed if we go to bed without completing every thing on our to do list.
My to do list has items on it which, I am honest enough to admit, are probably never going to reach fruition. I like having them on the list though because it makes me happy to think that one day I may get time to do them.
If we go to bed thinking about the things we haven’t managed to achieve, we are just setting ourselves up for a bad next morning.
So, this evening, as you climb into bed, make a list of absolutely everything you managed to achieve today. List them on paper or in your head (like counting sheep) – list every little thing. Don’t just say “I got the kids ready for school”, list everything that involved. For me, my morning list so far is as follows:
- convinced the dog that my bed was not his bed
- put bleach down the ensuite loo
- listened to youngest son tell me why he should be allowed to stay in bed for ten more minutes
- listened to eldest son discuss his concerns about heart attacks (after hearing that some actor who does a voice over in Garfield died of a heart attack)
- made three different breakfasts, remembered if toast is cut into two or four (depending on child)
- got meat out of the freezer for dinner – it will be chicken “something”
- made sandwiches for school lunch
- finished packing school lunch
- Collected all school bags, swimming kits and packed lunches into one area for collection
- helped eldest son with buttons on shirt
- helped daughter with tights
- encouraged daughter to move slightly faster than “one arm in, pause, other arm in, pause, day dream for a short time, put skirt on, pause”
- helped youngest son with shirt buttons, tie, trousers and socks while discussing which DVD he would like for his taxi – despite asking him to choose last night
- found above mentioned dvd
- supervised wash time
- supervised tooth brushing – no, one quick insertion of toothbrush does not mean they are now clean
- supervised battle over Ipad
- asked children to get jumpers/coats
- asked children again to get jumpers/coats
- asked children to get shoes
- told the children to get shoes and threatened immediate removal of all electrical items in the home
- discussed what homework needs doing this evening – I do not believe no one has any so need to investigate
- got children ready for their taxis
- unloaded dishwasher
- wrote a post for SNJ
- poured bleach in the downstairs loo
- wrote this quick post for CIK
And it is still only 9.30am – now personally, I think that is impressive. So go me! I am pretty awesome! My to do list for my return from the hospital is
Write your list this evening, then when you go to sleep think about how much you have achieved and how awesome you are. Your to do list will still be there tomorrow